Happily Imperfect

Most of us live in a culture and society which is totally obsessed with perfection.

An obsession which invariably leads to pain.
Emotional, psychological, physical, social and financial pain.

The perfection obsession is rampant.

It's completely ridiculous.
It's unhealthy.
It's unrealistic.
And it's potentially very dangerous.

I have personally seen it lead to anxiety, depression, social dysfunction, eating disorders, emotional problems, unrealistic expectations, ruined relationships, massive financial debt, destructive habits and unfortunately, the occasional suicide.

We (we, the society) want it all.


Perfect bodies.
Perfect teeth.
Perfect careers.
Perfect academic scores.
Perfect relationships.
Perfect children.
Perfect lives.

We try and convince ourselves that we're all about the deep and meaningful, but when we take an honest, realistic look at how we live as a collective of people... the overwhelming message (perhaps not from you and I personally) is to aim for perfection.

And in order to have (the appearance of) perfection, we (we, the society) will do almost anything.

We have ten credit cards and spend money we don't have.
We obsess about labels and brands.
We obsess about how others see us and what they think of us.
We mutilate our healthy bodies with elective surgery and make rich surgeons richer.
We preen, pluck, suck and tuck ourselves within an inch of our lives (literally sometimes).
We starve ourselves.
We self-diagnose and self-medicate.
We lie to ourselves and others.
We spend our lives acting out our perfect marriage, career, existence.
We compromise our values.
If only we could all see the beauty of our flaws.
The beauty of normal.
If only we couldn't understand the (potential) happiness in normal.

I love my life, my relationships, my career, my body and my existence on the big blue ball despite my big nose... my slightly chubby tummy...my fifty-seven bad habits, my numerous issues... and my atrocious singing voice.

I'm happy in my imperfection.

When we live in a paradigm that says "I will be happy when XYZ is perfect", then we are destined for a life of misery.

When we learn to be happy with (rejoice in, even) our imperfect selves, our imperfect lives, our imperfect relationships and our imperfect bodies, then we're on the road the real personal growth.

Aiming for better is admirable, possibly even noble... but striving for perfection is stupid.

The moment we stop chasing perfection and start aiming for enlightenment (self-awareness, self-realisation, a different way of thinking and being) is the moment we start to move towards genuine happiness.

Where we sit on the (world famous) Craig Harper Happiness Continuum (made that term up but I like it... you can use it!) is inversely proportional to our desire for perfection.

That is, the less we are... all about perfection, the happier we will be.

So... the take home message you crazy kids?

(1) Perfection is a myth.

(2) It's perfectly normal to be imperfect.

(3) Stop trying to be some perfect, weird-ass version of you... and be you.

I know professional personal development writers aren't meant to use terms like weird-ass, so... I'd like to apologize for my inappropriate, imperfect communication style.


By Craig Harper


unfurl and unchained

Unfurl and Unchained.
The unsongs of magical times.
The hymns of soul discovery.
People matter.
Personalities matter.
"I've embraced mine in loving light", he said.
The dim piano drops coming out of the silent whiteness.
Falling like glowing snowflakes.
Into the silent whiteness.
The wind stings my face and tears up my eyes.
A taste of blood in my mouth.
Believing is love, obsessing is fear.
We've forgotten what love is.
Always remembering...
The unconscious whispers, the constant backnoise of thought...
That we could find...
A way back there...
Beyond the moon...
Right through the air...

Goes with:


only love is real

та, поне изводът, до който аз съм стигнала, е, че истинската любов е това, което всъщност сме
едно цяло
и егото спира достъпа до това осъзнаване
както каза ти, не е "празнина", а непознаване на себе си
и в моменти на липса на его
с друг човек
си спомняме
от какво сме направени


a comment on "beyond karma"

This comment really is so perfect, I'm going to quote it:

“if there is nothing to accelerate this journey, then how do I experience some kind of peace”

Janice, we may not be able to accelerate the journey, at least not with the mind, but we can enjoy it. Instead of focusing on finding an answer, solution, just know that there is confusion, and then give yourself a break. Think of ways to give your mind, body, and emotions a break. And, have peace knowing that you will find peace, and that you are enjoying the journey. If you fight with confusion and give it too much attention, then may be you will tire yourself (and possibly others around you), and give up on the journey.

Times with confusion were the times I gave myself a break from all the “spiritual talk” and went out to play, went for a swim, a good meal, and maybe a movie. Those were the times I tried not to get attached to the words, the concepts, to figure them out, or figure out the confusion. Just let it be. If you try to figure out confusion, you will do so with your mind, and the mind will drive you mad. Just let the confusion be.



Honestly, I had no idea that this would fuck me up so bad... :(

just a portal

We're just a portal, darling. Nothing more.
What are we so scared of?
There's nothing to lose.
It's already there.
It's what we are made of.

I always thought that I was me. But no, I was wrong, I was you and never knew it.

Embrace this moment.
We are eternal.
All this pain is an illusion.



Such a moment of clarity.
Suddenly I see everything through the lucid winter air. All pain is gone. Everything is SO SIMPLE, how come I didn’t see it before? Yes, that’s exactly what it is: a slight shift in perspective, a subtle, intangible sparkle in perception.

We are all made of love.

We’ve just lost the key. The key to awareness of our substance. That’s what we’ve been searching for, it’s already there..... There’s nothing to look for, nothing to seek, it’s there. And it’s going to be there all the time, forevermore......

If the doors of perception were cleansed, every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite.

We are all made of stars. Universes within us. There are so many gateways to this infinity, we just need to reach out and open the doors. There are keys that work instantly – touching a soulmate, holding you child, being present.
This is our natural state.

Why have we been missing something that’s been there all along?

Yes, Kaushik, the I does not exist, it’s just an idea. We are all synchronic eons.

Danny, I hope you see what a sheer wonder your album is. It is a pure gateway to love. Nothing more, nothing less. Thank you.