Happily Imperfect

Most of us live in a culture and society which is totally obsessed with perfection.

An obsession which invariably leads to pain.
Emotional, psychological, physical, social and financial pain.

The perfection obsession is rampant.

It's completely ridiculous.
It's unhealthy.
It's unrealistic.
And it's potentially very dangerous.

I have personally seen it lead to anxiety, depression, social dysfunction, eating disorders, emotional problems, unrealistic expectations, ruined relationships, massive financial debt, destructive habits and unfortunately, the occasional suicide.

We (we, the society) want it all.

Badly.

Perfect bodies.
Perfect teeth.
Perfect careers.
Perfect academic scores.
Perfect relationships.
Perfect children.
Perfect lives.

We try and convince ourselves that we're all about the deep and meaningful, but when we take an honest, realistic look at how we live as a collective of people... the overwhelming message (perhaps not from you and I personally) is to aim for perfection.

And in order to have (the appearance of) perfection, we (we, the society) will do almost anything.

We have ten credit cards and spend money we don't have.
We obsess about labels and brands.
We obsess about how others see us and what they think of us.
We mutilate our healthy bodies with elective surgery and make rich surgeons richer.
We preen, pluck, suck and tuck ourselves within an inch of our lives (literally sometimes).
We starve ourselves.
We self-diagnose and self-medicate.
We lie to ourselves and others.
We spend our lives acting out our perfect marriage, career, existence.
We compromise our values.
If only we could all see the beauty of our flaws.
The beauty of normal.
If only we couldn't understand the (potential) happiness in normal.

I love my life, my relationships, my career, my body and my existence on the big blue ball despite my big nose... my slightly chubby tummy...my fifty-seven bad habits, my numerous issues... and my atrocious singing voice.

I'm happy in my imperfection.

When we live in a paradigm that says "I will be happy when XYZ is perfect", then we are destined for a life of misery.

When we learn to be happy with (rejoice in, even) our imperfect selves, our imperfect lives, our imperfect relationships and our imperfect bodies, then we're on the road the real personal growth.

Aiming for better is admirable, possibly even noble... but striving for perfection is stupid.

The moment we stop chasing perfection and start aiming for enlightenment (self-awareness, self-realisation, a different way of thinking and being) is the moment we start to move towards genuine happiness.

Where we sit on the (world famous) Craig Harper Happiness Continuum (made that term up but I like it... you can use it!) is inversely proportional to our desire for perfection.

That is, the less we are... all about perfection, the happier we will be.

So... the take home message you crazy kids?

(1) Perfection is a myth.

(2) It's perfectly normal to be imperfect.

(3) Stop trying to be some perfect, weird-ass version of you... and be you.

I know professional personal development writers aren't meant to use terms like weird-ass, so... I'd like to apologize for my inappropriate, imperfect communication style.

Not.

By Craig Harper